Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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