i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
