arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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