you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
