Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
