what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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