did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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