just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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