Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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