Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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