Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
