When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
