I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
