Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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