You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
