i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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