Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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