My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
