Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Randomize
