I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
