You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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