You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
