I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize