i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
