hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think people are normalizing furries
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize