kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm both gender and math confused
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
