remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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