new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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