Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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