Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
