I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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