he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
