i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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