i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
