I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
