Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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