yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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