So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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