Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
