ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
