He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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