HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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