he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
