i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
