Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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