Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
