matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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