i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
