Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
