What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
