i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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