Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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