I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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