is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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