Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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