I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
God, I missed his penis.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
