Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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