did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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