hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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