I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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