Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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