you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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