Sponge bath it is.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my shit smells like andre
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
