I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
