i may or may not be watching the land before time
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
