We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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