My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
