Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
