I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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