dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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